Ego - The Love Killer

At the blazing core of first romantic rumblings is ego. Perhaps Cupid misses the mark when he aims his little arrow at Quarries' hearts. Science shows us where to really level our ammunition and take fire—right at their egos. People fall in love with people in whose eyes they behold the most ideal reflections of themselves. Would-be lovers should be thrilled that ego makes the world go round, because Quarries' egos are very vulnerable targets. There are multifarious ways to make your Quarry feel beautiful, strong, handsome, charming, dynamic, or however he or she wants to feel. There are big-stroke compliments, little-stroke caresses, and a myriad of deliciously devious means to make your Quarry feel special. Subtle procedures can convince Quarries what they've suspected all along: "I am differ- ent. I am wonderful. And to thank you for recognizing this amazing fact, I'll fall in love with you.''

Everyone also hungers for security and validation. We seek protection in our primary relationship from the cruel, cruel world.

Ego Massage Is a Highly Skilled Craft

A skillful ego massage is not just giving compliments. It is gaining a thorough understanding of your Quarry's self-image and then fostering it. Your Quarry's ideal self-image is crucial data in planning your menu to nourish his or her ego and thus win his or her love. Not everyone wants to feel brilliant or beautiful. There are those who want to be perceived as Mr. Clean, a playboy, a Lolita, a sweet little princess, or a crazy, wonderful kinda crackpot genius. The variety of self-images is incalculable. The secret is not to blatantly compliment but to support your Quarry's self-image. From your first conversation, you must listen between the lines to uncover how your Quarry sees himself or herself. The pools where people behold the most ideal reflections of themselves are the eyes of the men and women they fall in love with.

Feeding your Quarry's ideal self-image is critical for sustenance of the relationship. But it's also as perilous as handing raw meat to a ravenous lion or lioness. Beware of insincere compliments or praise that misses the mark. One bad move and early love gets eaten alive. A well-executed ego massage proceeds gracefully through four steps. It begins with making your Quarry feel that, because of his magnetism, he has instantly captivated you. Then, as you and your Quarry are chatting, you must make him sense strong empathy flowing from you. Step three is to start interjecting your approval. Now, as your Quarry reveals more of himself to you, you may begin to bestow implied compliments. Along the way you can develop private jokes and other techniques that we will learn to make him feel special. Finally, when your Quarry senses that you realize how special he is, he is ready for the big guns, killer compliments.

Skilled praise is a powerful magnet. People react powerfully to praise, especially from someone they have just met. Explorations of couples who broke up prove that compliments from a new admirer carried a lot more clout than those from a current lover.If you are currently in a relationship, the competition is tough. Your Quarry becomes immune to many of your casual compliments and wearies of them if they are inappropriate. Taken one for one, a strong on-target compliment from a new admirer is a much more stunning blow. The same study showed that insults and digs from current lovers, spouses, and friends are more damaging than those from strangers. Because they hold more of a capacity to hurt or offend, current lovers play double jeopardy in the game of love. This is good news for you if you are the newcomer on the scene. Use your advantage. Strike while the iron is hot. If your Quarry is currently in a relationship which is in trouble, your compliments can be a salve to soothe sagging spirits and make your Quarry turn to you for a renewed self-image. Let us now proceed on the step-by-step plan to make your Quarry feel that he or she has, at long last, found the person with the potential to give unconditional love.

A wise sage once said, "Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly." When you first meet your Quarry, your body should shout, "I desire you irresistibly. My conscious mind may not know it yet, but see how my body is responding to yours." Your first praise should be unspoken. You can silently praise your Quarry by showing instinctive body language deference. Upon first spotting him or her, you can even let your eyes do a subtle double take. Look once. Look away. Then let your eyes snap back as though they had a mind of their own.